| i think i'm goin crazzzzy |
[Apr. 5th, 2008|01:41 pm] |
After enjoying today's momentary warmth, I've spent the remaining hours trying to learn every Daniel Johnston song I can find the chords for. These songs kill me; but they are so important.
When he sings, "This is a promise with a catch, only if you're looking, will it find you. Cuz true love is searching to, but how can it recognize you, unless you step out into the light the light." And he goes on to promise that true love will find you in the end, I become incredibly moved and I do believe that his promise is sincere and true. It eats at my insides.
Last night I went home a bit shooken up after telling Brittani about the Gene story. I suppose I hadn't told it for some time, and forgot how emotional I get.
It's hard for me to understand myself when I step back and think about what a large portion of my mind and heart are devoted to finding him. I've tried to write songs about it, I've tried to write short stories about it, but nothing comes out quite right, the reason being, I've realized, is because it's something I can't even comprehend. Someone sent me these picture a couple of days ago, inquiring, "is that him?"
I started to cry. The picture happened to be taken at a show at Clint's warehouse, and the boy in the picture happens to look nearly identical to Gene. For a moment, I convinced myself that it was him, and just as quickly as the idea came, it was shattered. Everytime I see a boy with blue eyes and a beard, my heart melts and stops and starts up all fast and I think, in that instant, that boy could be him. It's been so long now, that just about anybody could be him. But, when I close my eyes, I can still see the image I saw that night, and I know deep down, if I see him-I will know it. For real.
I'm not sure which is most maddening, the idea that I may have never crossed his mind after that night, he could be in some far away state or country.... or the idea that I represent the same longings I have for Gene in numerous people's lives, and I take them all for granted.
This entire search/desperation makes me feel like a real jerk. |
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| + most aestetically pleasing thing i've seen in some time |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|07:11 pm] |
these guys are the best directors/creators: www.encyclopediapictura.com |
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| french invasion!!! |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|07:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | diane cluck | ] |
This weekend was the best I've had in sometime! Kept it rather simple-Daytime spent thrifting in santa monica/beaching/and roaming venice. Nights spent nightswimming, baking, and movie watching cuddled up with my best friends in the world. Having Stace, Julia, and Chad home this weekend was the best thing I could ask for.
The next couple weeks are going to be the greatest!
They include these two events that NOBODY should miss:
&
I can't believe David Ivar Herman Dune agreed to play a nature show!
This is my dream come true-Herman Dune is literally my favorite band of our
time. I am going to pee my pants.
I am also bringing the slip n slide and lemonaide and cupcakes to this show-
so if not for the music and dancing-at least come for the parttty.
but really-come for the music. |
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| Footnote to Howl |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|03:14 am] |
Nothing inspires me more than listening to Ginsberg recite the footnote to howl each morning.
His words changed me forever. This photo is really important to me, and I hope that it captures a fraction of the power and insight provided by Mr. Ginsberg's holiness. |
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| boring |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|09:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mount eerie | ] |
Spring break went real well.
Here are some things I badly want:
Em star..here is my dream coat I spoke of earlier
The most perfect coat ever made, by french connection.
The new Terry Richardson book.
Diane Arbus: monograph.
Mission Hill dvds.
Every sing Cormac McCarthy novel.
Baby Taylor.
and most importantly, tickets to see LEONARD COHEN when he brings his tour to the states.
Who else is about to pee their pants waiting to hear where he plays?
I am going to ball my little eyes out.
I didn't really take any photos this past week. The beach does that to me. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|04:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mount eerie | ] |
Dear Phil Elverum,
Please never ever stop doing what you're doing.
It can change people.
It can make people feel better.
PS.
I FINALLY QUIT MY JOB!
I AM FREE! |
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| because I can't sleep! |
[Feb. 25th, 2008|12:29 am] |
I made a gif of derek!
and a long list of ridiculous material/random things I need/want by the time August rolls around:
(in no specific order)
- A fender squire electric guitar and baby amp
- A baby taylor acoustic guitar (I'll be giving derek his guitar back when I move)
- A little ukulele
- A microphone and mic stand
- Longgggggggger Hair (hair long enough to cover my boobs)
- The perfect apartment in the mission or castro district
- A giant elvis poster
- A huge Jonathan Richman poster (which I will wind up having to make myself)
- More tights and sweaters and boots and warm things
- My mission hill dvds that were supposed to be here 3 weeks ago
- MISTER LONELY to come to theaters in the states already
- More comfortable hiking shoes
- A psycho 3 wetsuit
- An external flash
- A battery for my sx 70
- More sweatpants
- Better skin
- Camping reservations for big sur
- Round trip flight to sf or san jose
- Literally 5 costco packs of polaroid film (or more)
- Repair my jewish star necklace and wolf necklace
- The perfect journal/book to use for my new project
- NON GLOSSY ilford pearl paper
- More socks
- More picture frames
- Cookbooks
- A new subscription to aperture
- Prisma colors
- New brushes/sketchbooks/pens/Watercolors
- A four track recording system
-
I feel so needy and kind of bad, but it actually feels nice to have a list of priorities so I know what to save my money for/what to hope for!
Now I can rest my head! |
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| it's hard to be cool...when your dad is goofy..? |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|11:10 pm] |
EEKS!
I haven't been posting on livejournal.
I have a lot to show and say and i'll do that tomarow night or something perhaps.
for now, I think everyone should enjoy this:
(the real trailer for any unfortunate souls who've never had the pleasure of seeing a goofy movie:)
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| hello livejournal: |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|06:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dear nora! | ] |
This weekend was WARM. It consisted of wonderful people and lots and lotsa of hikes, sunny hikes.
( more and more and more )<img src=" |
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| never settle for complacency |
[Nov. 26th, 2007|04:35 pm] |
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| copied frommy blog, which you should look at! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2007|11:05 pm] |
The family and I drove up to palm dessert for some good eats and family treats..here are some glimses into what it looked like!
( thanksgiving! ) |
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[Nov. 8th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
okey!
I'm not erasing it anymore!
false alarm if you will. |
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[Nov. 7th, 2007|07:10 pm] |
I had to make a new blog that allows bigger photos...
Modernlove.blog.com
find me there :) |
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[Nov. 4th, 2007|10:47 pm] |
I am not comfortable having a livejournal anymore!
I'm going to save some photos and poems I've posted in here onto my computer, and then, POOF!
it's gone.
Instead, I hope to post photographs and other things that are important to me at my Bliggity blog.
you can find it here:
Aheavyheart.blogspot.com
I probably won't post a lot there either, because scanning photos is tough.
But, if you wanna keep in touch, save that, or add danifineporcupine on myspace.com
love you,
night night! |
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| friday nights with zak and dad really are the greatest! |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|10:29 pm] |
I couldn't quite grasp why I was in such a desperate search to find something, to find someone.
All the while I've been completely aware of what it is I am looking for...but it wasn't until these past few days that I have been able to realize I have had it all along.
This is a photograph I took of the 2nd most beautiful view complimenting the third of fourth most beautiful day I've had, ever, spent with people that I love unconditionally then now and forever!
It's things such as this that allow me to realize, I have a whole lotta love in my life. |
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[Oct. 21st, 2007|11:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | new good life | ] |
Slip n slide is the greatest.
And although my stomach is now a bit soar,
it hurts when I laugh,
and I flashed nearly all of my friends...
it was surely worth it!
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[Oct. 18th, 2007|11:14 pm] |
It's official my friends!
I'll be attending sfsu next fall! |
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[Oct. 14th, 2007|11:40 pm] |
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If the rest of my life was spent doing nothing other than dancing with/to akron/family as they play ed is a portal, it would never get old, n I'd never be tired or unfulfilled, ever. |
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kindnessrejoice's journal
